Halfway

It has been five months since I left my loved ones behind. Seven months from now, someone more like myself will head back straight into their loving embrace.
Moving to Cambodia was harder than I made it seem. I thought making the huge decision to come here, would instantly solve everything that needed solving. I was wrong. Nothing really changed. I had no vital energy. I did what I had to do, then went back to bed. I preferred staying in, since most of the people I would meet, left in a heartbeat. I blamed the country for the lack of connectedness I was feeling.
As I spent most days by myself, I had plenty of time to think. Too many times before, the predominant presence of thoughts has driven me to madness. I decided to practice meditation, and I began reading and writing. I was reminded of my long lost love for literature, and I came to the realization that there was nothing in my life I was passionate about anymore. Even dancing had become more of a chore.
Slowly but surely, I went on to recollect pieces of myself I had forgotten about. Simultaneously, I encountered individuals who brought light to my hidden fears, and confronted me with my unconscious way of living. Even though I wanted to, I could not shut them out, for I recognized truth in what I was told.
One day, I sat at the end of my bed in complete stillness. I could feel tears running down my face. I gazed upon the ceiling, and then gazed into my own eyes. All of me shattered within that moment. I experienced gratitude, inner peace and an intense feeling of love. I let go of everything I ever held on to. It was one of the most intense experiences I have lived. It felt as though I had died and came back to life.
Thereafter nothing was the same. My perspective on life in its entirety changed. I have had a numerous amount of realizations, and my mind has expanded extensively. Today I am more likely to explore the unknown, rather than to avoid or judge it. I have found that instead of placing blame elsewhere, it is way more satisfying to go inwards, and face my discomfort. I have learned that blatant honesty towards all beings, including myself, displays nothing but love.
While being on this journey, I have to say farewell almost constantly. In times past, it would cause me sorrow, but this too has changed. Along with my heavenly experience came acceptance. It has taught me to appreciate the impermanence of life. I now breathe in every moment, I behold every sight and I love every soul. 
The astonishing palm trees, the clearest day and night sky, dogs roaming the streets ever so freely, countless smiles and the absence of time; it all portrays life’s beauty. I feel solely grateful for all the beautiful souls I come across, and whenever it is time to part ways, I remember Rumi’s words of wisdom:

“Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.”